I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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