I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
