we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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