CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
