Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
