I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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