I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
