i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
