I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
