I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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