I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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