Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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