dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
