Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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