Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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