I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
