Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
