Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i barfeds in our rink
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
