No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
