I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
