she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
