is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
