Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
