I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
