Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
