the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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