that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
