So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
