I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
