he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
