The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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