I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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