Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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