My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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