there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
