Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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