i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
