He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
