If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
