Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i will never coherently bang her
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
