Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
