Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
