You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
