I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
