My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
