yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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