Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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