woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
