using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
