I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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