I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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