lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
