Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
