I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
