Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
